If you have aging parents, their roles in the family dynamic have likely shifted gradually over the years. As an adult child, you are now likely in a position where you need to help ensure your aging parents’ safety and well-being.
This transition can be challenging, especially if your parents perceive the idea of conservatorship as a loss of independence. If you’re facing this situation, you should approach a conversation about conservatorship with empathy and patience. You will also need a clear plan to help your parent see conservatorship as a supportive partnership rather than an infringement on their autonomy.
Understanding their concerns
Before starting the conversation, it’s crucial to understand why your parent might resist conservatorship. Most often, the fear stems from a perceived loss of:
- Control
- Dignity
- Identity
They may worry that conservatorship will strip them of their decision-making power or lead to isolation. Acknowledging these fears without dismissing them can build a foundation of trust and respect.
Take time to observe and document situations where your parent’s mental capacity might be putting them at risk. For example:
- Missed medication doses
- Forgotten bills
- Unsafe decision-making
You can use these instances to illustrate to your parents the need for additional oversight. However, approach this process sensitively to avoid making your parent feel scrutinized or undermined.
Crafting a thoughtful approach
When initiating the conversation, timing and tone are everything. Choose a calm, private setting and approach the subject when your parent is in a good mood and free of distractions. Use a respectful, collaborative tone to emphasize that conservatorship is not about taking over their lives but helping ensure their safety and well-being.
Start with phrases that show empathy, such as: “I know how much your independence means to you, and I want to help make sure you can continue living your life as fully as possible.” Reassure them that they’re part of the decision-making process by using phrases such as: “I’ve noticed some things lately that concern me, and I’d like us to figure out a plan together.”
Convincing your aging parents to accept conservatorship is rarely resolved with a one-time conversation. It requires patience, understanding and a commitment to addressing their fears while prioritizing their safety. By framing conservatorship as a partnership and seeking legal support, you can craft an agreement to enhance your parent’s quality of life in their golden years.
